Coming soon to the App Store
ParaLaff

ParaLaff

\ ˈper-ə-ˌlaf \ noun

  1. 1a passage of text in which random words are replaced with yours, then shared with the world — sometimes out loud.
  2. 2the app that wraps all of the above into something engaging and genuinely fun.

A fill-in-the-blank story game for iPhone. Your text never leaves your phone.

One letter when ParaLaff reaches the App Store; nothing else, ever. Demo form — nothing is sent yet.

Try a sample ParaLaff

usageI turned the Gettysburg Address into a ParaLaff and my sister has not stopped laughing.

originpara(graph) + laff, a respelling of laugh — probably. The word is itself a ParaLaff.

SpecimenGettysburg Address, 1863
Four score and seven years ago our plumbers brought forth on this trampoline, a new sandwich, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created sticky.

Formerly fathers, continent, nation, equal.

Reshuffles itself every few seconds; holds perfectly still if your device asks for reduced motion.

How it works, in five senses

Five verbs, in the order you will meet them. The plates beneath show the phone at three of the stages; the other two are mostly you, thinking.

  1. choose, v.

    Open a passage from the library — a pre-1930 classic, a famous old speech, a US government document — or paste your own text. Point the camera at a page if you have Plus.

  2. tag, v.

    A small language model on the phone marks every noun, verb, adjective and adverb. The app also notices when a word is a colour, a vehicle or a food, and says so. Nothing is sent anywhere.

  3. blank, v.

    Sliders decide how many of each to remove — three nouns and an adjective, say, or a reckless number of verbs. The app chooses which ones, at random, so that you cannot plan ahead.

  4. fill, v.

    The blanks arrive shuffled, so you never know where a word will land. Type one, roll the dice, or borrow from a themed dictionary. A noun. A colour. A vehicle.

  5. finish, v.

    Your words go home to all the wrong places. Read it; hear it read aloud with each word lit as it is spoken; send it on as a card or a video. Then Play again.

Plate IThe sliders. Eight nouns are on offer; three will do.
Plate IIThe carousel. Blanks arrive out of order; a dice on every one.
Plate IIIThe result. Your words in highlighter; the phone reading along.

The library, n.

Every passage on the shelf is out of copyright or the property of the American public. Nothing you would have to ask permission for; nothing that will write to you afterwards.

  • Alice’s Adventures in WonderlandCarroll, 1865

    A tea table, a queen, a great many nouns, and an author who would have approved.

  • Pride and PrejudiceAusten, 1813

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that the first sentence is in want of a new adjective.

  • Moby-DickMelville, 1851

    Call me anything you please. Ishmael has had a long run.

  • A Tale of Two CitiesDickens, 1859

    The best of times, the worst of times: the adjectives practically volunteer.

  • The Gettysburg AddressLincoln, 1863

    Ten sentences, 272 words, endlessly forgiving. The house specimen.

  • The Declaration of Independence1776

    Life, Liberty and the pursuit of something you fill in yourself.

  • The Constitution, preamble1787

    We the People, in order to form a more perfect noun.

  • Your own textPaste, or photographPlus

    A message, a recipe, a memo from work. Paste it in — or point the camera at a page and let the phone read it for you. Either way it stays on the phone.

The built-in shelf holds pre-1930 works in CC0 editions, US federal government documents and famous speeches of the same vintage. Nothing newer.

The lexicon, n.

Five ways to fill a blank: type it; roll the dice; take a word from the plain English dictionary; take one from a themed dictionary; or from a custom list — yours, or another player’s.

Every dictionary knows its parts of speech and its categories. Ask the Space Opera dictionary for a vehicle and you are handed a shuttle, not a milk float. Where a themed pack has nothing to say, the plain dictionary quietly fills in, so the dice is never dead.

  • Space Opera, dict. Shuttles, moons, admirals, a great deal of humming.
  • Galactic Adventure, dict. The same universe, but faster, and with more snacks.
  • Fantasy Quest, dict. Goblets, oaths, taverns, and a moderate number of dragons.
  • Slang, dict. Words your English teacher marked in red. She would have laughed.
  • Spooky, dict. Creaks, cobwebs, and a hallway that is longer than it was.
  • Seasonal, dict. Arrives on the calendar’s schedule: hearts in February, pumpkins in October, tinsel after that.
  • Custom, dict. Lists made by you or another player, for in-jokes the other dictionaries have not caught up with.

Categories the app recognises

  • A colour
  • A vehicle
  • A food
  • A pet
  • A piece of furniture
  • A body part
  • An article of clothing
  • A holiday
  • A celebrity
  • A drink
  • A place
  • A job
  • An animal

Recognised from the original word: red is always a colour, so the blank asks for one. Celebrities are invented — a reality-TV chef, the local weather presenter — never anyone real.

The bindings, n. pl.

A theme rebinds the whole game: palette, type, decorations, and the highlighter itself. Bats drift, snow falls, hearts float — quietly, and with the sound off if you say so. The app will suggest a theme from the calendar; you may overrule it.

  • HalloweenSuggested late October

    The hallway was creaking.

  • Valentine’s DaySuggested mid-February

    Call me darling.

  • ChristmasSuggested December

    A more perfect sleigh.

  • BirthdaySuggested on the day

    Created frosted.

Highlight styles reproduced here in monochrome, as is proper in a book. In the app they come in colour, with the sound of a creaking door where warranted. A starter set of themes is free; the full collection is part of Plus.

The recitation, n.

Four score and seven years ago our plumbers brought forth on this trampoline, a new sandwich, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created sticky.

Press play and the phone reads your ParaLaff aloud in its best voice, lighting each word as it goes — karaoke for people who would rather not sing.

Voice, rate and pitch live under Speech settings; Preview voice lets you audition a narrator before committing. The system voices are free. Premium voices arrive later, for those who want the Gettysburg Address delivered by someone who sounds as though they mean it.

The circulation, n.

A ParaLaff is shared out — to a message, to the camera roll, to your sister. It goes to a person, not a timeline. The story is the point.

Share cardAlways free

Your ParaLaff set on its own card, highlighter and all, sized for wherever you put things.

Karaoke videoAlways free

The read-aloud, recorded with the highlights, for the thread that deserves it.

The price list, n.

Three editions, honestly priced. Sharing is free in every one of them, because a story nobody hears is a diary.

Free$0
The whole game on a curated starter library. A few paste-your-own ParaLaffs a day. The system voice. Share card and karaoke video, both included.
ParaLaff Plus$24.99a year
or $4.99 a month · one-week free trialCamera capture. Unlimited custom text and the full library. Every themed dictionary and font pack. All visual themes. Highlight styles, and premium voices as they arrive. No advertisements.
Lifetime$59.99once
Everything in Plus, for as long as there is a ParaLaff. Future metered voice minutes excepted; we will say so plainly before they arrive.

Any payment removes every advertisement, forever. Nothing sold once is ever moved behind a subscription.

Glossary, n.

age rating, n.
13+. ParaLaff is family-presentable: every first-party dictionary is written to be read aloud at the table.
privacy, n.
Your text never leaves your phone. A small language model on the device tags the parts of speech; the passage is never sent to a server. The model downloads once and stays.
free, adj.
The whole game on the starter library, a few custom passages a day, the system voice, and share card and video export. Plus adds the rest; it does not take anything away.
Android, n.
After iPhone. The first edition is for iPhone; Android follows once iPhone has proved the point. Leave an address below and we will write.
launch, n.
Coming soon to the App Store. The address list is how we will tell you.
dice, n. pl.
A button on every blank. Rolls a word of the right kind from whichever dictionary you have chosen.
highlighter, n.
Yellow, the colour of the words you put in. It is how you tell yours from Lincoln’s.
sister, n.
See usage. Has not stopped laughing.

Take the entry home.

Leave an address and we will send one letter, on the day ParaLaff reaches the App Store. Then, presumably, you will send us a sandwich.

Demo form — nothing is sent yet. Coming soon to the App Store; Android after.